Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
