walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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