So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
"it" just moved
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
