i just google imaged poop.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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