8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
