Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
