That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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