He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
