You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
