..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
