Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
