Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
