It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
