I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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