if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
