Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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