i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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