don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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