8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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