i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
