kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am available for nakedness
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
