I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
