is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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