Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
