Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up under a house in Key West
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