she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
