You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
