pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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