theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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