Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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