let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
