He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
