Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
