i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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