So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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