i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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