I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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