Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
