Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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