how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
