Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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