You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
