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too bad you live with your parents still
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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