You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize