walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
