Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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