I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
