Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
