New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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