I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize