Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
