He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
