no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
