i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you would pick up someone in the library
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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