Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize