I just made out with a guy for $7.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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