my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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