im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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