Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
