a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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