i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
