i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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