Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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