We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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