dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
