I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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