the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
